I Lived Big Enough for Both of Us | Henry Kellem

Maybe I went through all of these challenges and I survived."

I could have easily been killed.

my car got shot up one day, point blank range.

Like they, they shot the car up so much, the car was totaled and

you couldn't drive it no more.

And what happened was, being on the block, being young, acting like

we own a neighborhood and we don't own anything, this guy was on our

neighborhood and he was talking junk.

So I looked at my friend and we jumped him.

because you're not gonna come on our block talking like that, right?

So the next day we ain't thinking nothing of it.

Me and him riding down the street, a car pull up right beside us.

Click-click Pow.

And 12 gauge shotgun shot right through the passenger side

through the driver's side.

I'm on the passenger side.

Me and him both duck.

And then he's driving a stick.

How he kept driving this car, it was the grace of God.

And they totaled the car, they shot the car up, not one

bullet, not one piece of glass.

Wow.

That's crazy.

And I said again, it's gotta be a reason that God spared me to be here.

Intro Band: Lean in closer. This is your time.

Hit record on your crooked

life. What's your story?

(Hey!) Say the words out loud!

Mike & Scott gonna crack that crowd.

What's your story? (Hey!) Turn it up, let's go!

Every voice. Every scar.

Every road. What's your story?

Mike and Scott.

Let's talk.

Everyone, Mike Lindstrom, my man Scott Leese.

"What's Your Story?" Another episode.

I'm excited about today.

This is a long time friend of mine.

We'll have to have him tell the story here.

Henry Kellem.

not just a friend, he's an entrepreneur, professional speaker.

We're gonna dive into all that stuff.

But, came all the way out here from SoCal.

People are coming in to see us, man.

Yeah.

I'm pretty pumped.

We had Dan Lear.

We had Dan Lear come from Vegas.

some other folks are coming in, today and tomorrow.

So it's really exciting to be able to take the reach beyond the one year mark.

We just hit the one year mark of

We've gone nationwide.

We've gone nationwide outside of Arizona.

We're going, we're going worldwide next year worldwide

W. So without further ado, my man, thank you so much for coming.

Henry Kellem.

Thank you for having me.

I appreciate it.

Yes sir.

So we always start with the first question.

" What's your story?" This is your two minute version.

I know you're only in your 40s, so you gotta, keep us in

that four decade like timeline.

Okay.

Give us enough to start with and then we're gonna start

going down some rabbit holes to find out what you're up to these days.

Okay.

What your story?

My story.

So a lot of people know my, I call it Dirt Road to Rodeo, but let me get into that.

So let's just say if you'd have met me 25 or 30 years ago

uh-huh.

You wouldn't recognize the man that's sitting in front of you.

And it has nothing to do with the clothes I wear or where I live at,

but basically who I am on the inside.

But for me to explain that, I gotta go all the way back to the beginning.

So my name is Henry Kellem.

I'm from Eastern North Carolina.

I was born to a 17-year-old mother.

Wow.

And my family had to scrape up $315 just for my delivery.

So before I took my first birth, I was already like born into the struggle.

My mother already had a child prior at 16, and me and my sister are 13 months apart.

she has a twin sister and she had four kids.

My mom had four kids.

We all living in one house.

It's about 10 of us, one bedroom, small apartment.

And then, we moved to the trailer.

And if you heard me mention the trailer before down the dirt road.

The trailer was, what can I say?

It had holes in the ceiling, so when it rained outside, it rained inside.

And there was times that we didn't even have running water in the trailer.

I remember one of my biggest, memories was taking milk jugs to our neighbor's house

to ask them if we could fill it up with water to take the water back home so we

can like heat up water with a hot plate.

We had one hot plate or we would have to put water in the sink to like wash

up like that right there or whatever.

So, my mom, she ended up having five kids, you know what I'm saying?

My brother got killed at the age of 13.

I was 14.

He got shot in the head at point blank range.

And that's when like everything really changed for me.

I felt like I lost my innocence.

And I remember he was laying there and he had a hole in his head and

I put my hand over his forehead and he looked like he was sleeping.

And that's when I learned that the bullets actually spread because

the back of his head was blown out.

Oh man.

And I remember and I felt guilty because I actually

saw him and the guy who killed him about an hour before he got killed.

And he was my younger brother.

So I felt like I was supposed to protect him, you know, why did this happen?

There was so many things I couldn't wrap my head around.

My mom had a nervous breakdown.

Me being the oldest boy, I had to step up.

So I tell people, you talking to a man that was never a boy

because I had to grow up fast.

So now, going forward, I was good in school, was an honors student, made

good grades, but I got pulled away from the school things around age 17.

I got kicked off the high school basketball team, almost flunked

out of school for missing days.

My principal told me, "You will not graduate from this high school."

So at my senior year, he kicked my brother out the second day of school.

He told us all that together.

Said, "You the scum of the earth." we was hustling.

When I was 18, I got busted for selling marijuana.

Yeah.

so he said, "You the scum the earth. You won't

graduate from my school." And I knew I had to get that degree.

So I walked like a very thin line my, senior year.

And even at the graduation, he said it's a guy that's not even,

he wasn't even supposed to be here.

he said HK.

He was talking about me.

So I, anyway, I graduated high school, went on to get my degree

from North Carolina Central.

Then I got my master's degree.

And, um, okay, where we at now?

The story.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

I get caught up in so much of that.

I always had a feeling that I wanted to move to Beverly Hills.

You remember the show

Yeah.

Beverly Hillbillies?

Of course.

So Beverly Hillbillies, Jed had struck oil.

And I remember one day I was home.

I was like, "I'ma move." I saw those palm trees.

And I said, "I'ma move to, Beverly Hills one day." And my brother and

them, they was like, "How you gonna get there?" I said, "I'ma think my way

there." Because we didn't have no money.

We was waiting on food stamps every week.

Yeah.

WIC, you know what I'm saying?

We was waiting on the WIC and the food stamps.

And, they got a song, Benny Siegel and Jay-Z, and he said, "I used to think money

was white." And the reason he said that is because those food stamps was white.

And, that's how we had to spend at the grocery store and everything

was food stamps or whatever, you know what I'm saying?

When we was little.

So I said I always wanted to move to Beverly Hills.

So then one day I was just like, "You know what? I'ma just move to see how

the other side live." Just for one year.

Just let me see how the other side live.

So I moved to Beverly Hills and I liked it.

And when I got there and I said, let me see if I can stay here.

I said, if I'm a struggle in North Carolina, I might as well

struggle in Los Angeles or whatever.

Yeah.

So it's been 11 years now.

I've met a lot of interesting people, a lot of different things.

of course I had my daughter when I moved to Beverly Hills at 36.

Then everything really changed for me because as you knew,

I grew up without a father.

Yeah.

And that was a big part of my life.

So I wanted to be present for my daughter.

So over the last 10 years, it's taking some time, you know, raising

her, introducing her to things that I have never seen before, in my life.

Yeah.

So real quick before we get, start going to the good rabbit

holes, still the quick story.

Okay.

When you and I met.

Okay.

So we were in Las Vegas.

Yes.

Right.

It was New Year's.

Mm-hmm.

That year Monica was pregnant.

My wife was pregnant with Rhett, so she, he's now 18.

So that's how long we've known each other.

And we're at the Gucci store.

This is New Year's Eve actually.

Mm-hmm.

Cause the parties we're all going to were that night.

Yeah.

But you and I didn't know each other from anybody.

So tell me your version.

because I remember meeting you and I'm like, "who is this guy?

And we're sitting there chatting up like bros for five minutes and my buddies

are like, Who's that guy?" I'm like, I don't effin, I don't even know."

so again, like coming that environment, I always was like,

I want to try to break out of this environment, but I didn't know how.

So I want to try to always meet different people.

So that's one reason I went to Vegas.

I went to Vegas in New Year's.

I used to love just to, I don't gamble at all.

I just love to see the lights and the, the hotels and how amazing it is because

I wanted to see something bigger than, the small town that I had came from.

So just go to Vegas.

When I saw you in the store, I was like, "You know what? He looks like somebody

I need to know." You was dressed really well, the guys with you and everything.

And I knew that it's like if I keep doing what I've been doing,

I'ma get what I've been getting.

I need to meet some new people and do all of that.

So I just took a chance and introduced myself to you and

18 years later it's history.

And we've had coaching relationships.

Yes.

We've done business deals.

Everything.

We worked on stuff.

We've stepped on stages together.

Yes.

You were doing some amazing stuff with Les Brown.

Yeah.

Because of you.

Yeah.

That was that whole thing came.

It was more you, man.

I gotta be honest.

You the guy that came up to me and I'm like, "I don't even know who this

guy is, but he looks like somebody."

Right, right.

He's got that look, right?

that was, that was the beginning of the relationship, but

I'm saying is like, as you mentored me, as you helped coach me, you

had the connection with Dan Lear.

Right.

Shout out to Dan, you know, because he helped that

whole Les Brown thing happen.

But I grew up listening to Les and I love Les and you made that

come true for me and everything.

So, the mentor is good, the coaching is good, but I really like to say my friend.

Yeah.

That I can call you a friend.

Even the way you check in on me when we're not coaching, you're like, "Hey, it's

fourth quarter. What are you gonna do?"

Yeah.

Just that little bit of accountability.

And I'm like, You know what?

I know I gotta hold myself

- Mike Lindstrom: Yeah.

…to a higher standard or whatever.

Just like the whiteboard

- Mike Lindstrom: Yeah.

…in your office.

You know what I mean?

I appreciate you coming into the podcast, man.

It's a no-brainer.

appreciate you having me.

Coming from where you did to where you are now, I'm

sure your definition of abundance has changed over the years.

Yes.

Yes.

Talk a little bit about that and what is your kinda current definition

of abundance or your relationship with that word and how it drives you?

Okay.

Good question.

Great question.

So in the beginning, abundance just meant to me money.

Because when you can't take care of yourself and you don't have the basic

needs and everything, it's all about, trying to get that taken care of.

So to me, abundance was if I get enough money, everything will be okay.

All my problems will go away.

Which we all know, once you get money, your problems don't go away.

Yeah.

As a matter of fact, what they say more money, more problems.

So yeah, we understand that.

So as I got older, I started realizing that, and, and

this is what happened to me.

I talked to a lot of successful men, and they told me, they said, when my kids were

young, I was busy building my business.

I was here, I was there.

And they didn't have that time with the kids that they wanted.

So a lot said, now that I have grandkids and my business is

established, I try to do that with them.

So I always wanted to, have that time for my daughter.

So when I look at abundance, it's like having time for the family.

Abundance is having energy, you know, having your health, your vitality,

those things that you can't buy.

a lot of times we put it in material things, but it's more so about

Yeah.

my, my daughter grabbed my hand the other day and she said,

we had went to get some school shoes.

She said, "school shoes, snacks and time with dada, the best." And she

squeezed my hand and it was just like everything, everything went away.

no matter what problems I'm having, when I'm with her, it all disappears

because I'm like, if she was having an issue, that'd be a real problem.

Like my daughter's here, she's healthy.

So for me, abundance is just like having that, that real quality

time because we can't get it back.

So

That's right.

We can't get the time back.

So yeah.

That's true.

Yeah.

Talk, to us about, "I am".

I know that's a big phrase.

that's a language pattern that's in your head and you're very good

about talking about that on all your social media and who you are.

Yeah.

Talk about that.

Yeah.

So "I am' started for me with the verse in the, the Bible.

"I'm the Lord that God that bought the out of the land of Egypt."

Egypt, as we know, is bondage, right?

Not a country, but, you could be in bondage to gambling, to your money, to

sex, to anything that has you in bondage.

So when he said "I bought thee out of the land of bondage, tell them

the God of your fathers has sent me." He said, "who shall I say sent me?

He said, "I am that I am." Therefore, tell the children of

Israel, I am has sent me unto you.

So for me, I am is like, I can say I am a black man, right?

But I take this unconditioned energy and I make it smaller.

So for me, I am is like the two most important words you can say because you

actually like speak it into existence.

So that's why they say let the weak say "I'm strong." So I use that and

it was for the negative voices that I was hearing in myself, my own inner

critic that told me I'm not good enough.

So it was almost like a battle with myself when I had to keep

telling myself, I am good enough.

I am good enough.

This is what took me down the path of learning a little bit about

neuroscience, epigenetics, all of these things because I'm trying to figure

out why do I feel the way I feel?

Why am I reacting the way I feel?

Why do I feel so small?

Especially when I got to Beverly Hills.

I got there and I'm looking around and I'm seeing everything and I

felt like a, like just so small.

That's when I realized you can change your zip code without changing your mindset.

Then the real work started doing, because that's when I started

having to do the internal work.

As long as I was, getting my degrees in college, as long as I was a successful

businessman, I can mask some of those things that I never dealt with.

I never dealt with my brother getting killed.

I never dealt with a lot of those issues because in our community, you

just don't say anything about it.

You just, you gotta be a man, you gotta be strong.

So it all hit me at one time that I never processed that pain.

I actually just lived from it.

So everything I did came from a place of pain.

I wasn't good enough.

I was trying to prove myself.

And it was all just so exhausting and everything.

So

- Mike Lindstrom: Yeah.

…then it was like, let me try to

- Scott Leese: So how

- Henry Kellem: see what's going on.

…how, if it's okay to ask, how have you processed it

and moved through those things?

Some people do therapy, some people go all in on exercise

or nutrition or, or whatever.

What, how have you moved through some of these things that were so different?

A combination of things.

So first I was, let's say I was angry at my father because he wasn't there.

So I had to forgive him, release that, forgive myself.

So forgiveness is a very big part of it.

And then having the awareness of these thoughts and how I'm feeling and

being able to catch them in real time.

Also, exercising is one thing.

That's one reason I get up in the morning and I exercise.

And, when I got to LA, I started studying spirituality.

I started studying Kabbalah.

Kabbalah actually helps me to go inside and deal with all the

internal things because it's like it's an internal process.

Yeah.

It has nothing to do externally.

It's all internally.

So studying Kabbalah, and especially in LA at the Kabbalah Center, one of

the biggest things was the community of people that I was with because

sometime we need a community.

We need people to hold us accountable.

Mm-hmm.

that's what I realized once I got into the community, it was like,

oh, these people holding me accountable.

They watching.

They seeing if I'm showing up in certain things.

And it's like having a teacher, right?

In school, if the teacher have low expectations, I rise to them.

But if they have high expectations, I rise to them right there, whatever.

So it's like that level of accountability and community and wisdom.

We don't know what we don't know.

So just having an open mind and being able to, accept different concepts

that was kind of foreign to me.

Yeah.

We talk a lot about in coaching a about imposter syndrome.

Mm-hmm.

And this self-talk, the negative self-talk that happens.

How do you handle that?

Cause we all go through it.

I do it.

I'm out.

It still shows itself.

Could be in a boardroom on a virtual meeting, somebody's very notable or, has

stature, so to speak, relative to me.

how do you handle that?

I do it anyway.

It's never that I'm not nervous or certain things happen, but I know that if

I don't do it, nothing is gonna happen.

So one reason I wanna tell this story "Dirt Road to Rodeo" and help people is

because for me, when my brother died, I said, "I'm gonna live a life big

enough for both of us." So every time I got afraid to step on a stage with

Les or do something, I though about my brother and I said, "He's not here.

He don't get a chance." What happens when I see him, he gonna look at

me and be like, "You were scared.

You didn't do anything." So that drives me forward right there.

It's one thing that pushes me because maybe it's the survivor's

guilt and I feel like I gotta make something happen with my life.

So I do get afraid all the time, but I do it anyway.

I just don't let the fear stop me.

Yeah.

and even think about it.

I'm in Beverly Hills, right?

And I'm, and I'm telling people that I'm gonna teach them something and

I, who am I to teach you something?

I, I come from nothing.

I'm a little black boy from down the dirt road.

See, if I identify with all that stuff, it makes me small.

That's why I just had to say I am.

Yeah.

Just I am.

You know what I mean?

As close to source as possible.

I think the one thing I, I loved listening to you speak when you

spoke with Les Brown and Dan Lear on that big stage in North Carolina, and Les had

mentioned it that day in front of the crowd that, America, for lack of… I

mean, he was talking about our country.

The, there's devoid of a lot of younger African American voices being

influential, which is why he took to you.

He very much was attracted to your message, who you be, how you show up,

how you become and how you behave.

speak to that a little bit.

So there's, there's a certain amount of, I would say responsibility

Yes.

Right

with that because you have that, you're educated, you're

out there influencing, you're putting yourself out there on social media.

People are looking to you.

Yeah.

Like you never know the full extent of your influence.

So talk a little bit about that from your viewpoint.

Yeah.

I feel like it is a responsibility because it's kids that are looking to us.

And I remember being young, I wanted some help.

And I used to look up and I said, "Well, I'll be to the world what I want it to

be." And that's really why I'm here now.

I'm like, If one person hear this story and they decide, "you know what? I'm

gonna take a chance on me" and they win, then it was all worth it or whatever.

So I definitely feel like I have a responsibility.

and that's… The imposter syndrome comes in.

who are you?

And, all of that.

But I do feel like I have a responsibility to put the information out there.

Yeah.

But we all talk ourself out of it.

That's one problem with us,

Yeah.

Being human and what we gotta get past.

Yeah.

So the biggest thing you struggle with?

The biggest thing I struggle with, up until recently

was figuring that I, that I was good enough, that I could actually make

an impact, you know what I'm saying?

that I was even worthy of someone listening to me.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

It's powerful.

Yeah.

What's the biggest setback in your adult life?

My biggest setback?

Challenge, setback.

I call them peak moments, things that defined you.

they're negative perceptually, but you rebounded from those

and it made you a better person.

What would you say?

Well, one of the biggest setbacks in my

life was when I got arrested.

Okay.

Because I felt like I was doing things that coulda

ended my life or my freedom.

And the, the crazy thing is God was on my side this day because in the state

of North Carolina, if you have 10 pounds of marijuana, you get an automatic

35 to 42 months, no questions asked.

Wow.

That's called trafficking.

So this particular day, I had 13 pounds of marijuana, right?

And 13 pounds of marijuana.

It was a slow day.

[laughing] It was a slow day.

I had a gentleman, he, and he wanted two pounds of marijuana.

So I told him, I said, "Hey, man, take two more." I just, something just, a voice

just said, "Just take two more." So he bought two and I just fronted him two.

I get the money later because it's slow.

I'm gonna go home with it anyway.

So you ended up one pound under?

So now I got one pound under.

Wow.

One pound under.

A couple hours later, the guy calls me, and I go to see him.

It was a setup, of course.

I, I don't think it's a setup, but I pull in the parking lot

and I see like 30 police cars.

I'm like, What the hell are these police cars doing here?" But I pull

in the parking lot next to it where I was supposed to meet him at,

but I ain't paying no attention.

I'm gonna go do my thing.

So I go ahead to meet him and, police pulled me over in the

next parking lot, searched the vehicle, they find the nine pounds.

But like I said, I only got probation.

One more pound, I'da did four, I hadn't finished graduating college yet.

I would've never graduated college and it's a lot of

- Scott Leese: In three, three to four years.

Three to four years

Yeah.

in prison.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know I'm one of them people that everything happens for a reason.

I'm like, "Why did God spare me? Why didn't go do this and that?"

It's a reason or whatever for that.

Yeah.

There's a reason you listened to that, whatever that little voice was.

Whatever that little voice was.

Yes.

You know what?

Just take

you know what I think it was?

I, I listen to that voice now.

You know how we have that voice and we'll listen?

Yes.

See, I got a felony behind not listening to that voice.

So now when that voice come, I listen.

Yeah.

Something told me in the Gucci store, "You wanna know him."

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I went up to you.

Yeah.

18 years later, we sitting right here.

Yeah.

So I was like, You know what?

That voice, maybe that's for me to go with that intuition that we have,

that feeling that we know, but we don't know how we know, but we know."

Yeah.

And I went with that.

You, you've built a lot of different businesses and you're

involved in a lot of different things.

do you ever… Can you put a word to that feeling of I should do more?

I gotta do more.

It's like a restlessness.

I think I read that you used this word restlessness one time.

It is.

It is.

If I recall.

And, you know, I'm getting to the point now where I'm

just learning to be, but I always felt like I had to prove… Part of that

was ha I'm having to prove myself.

I'm not good enough.

Yeah.

It's always the next thing and I'm just steady,

running, running, running.

And then it's like, I'm not enjoying anything because

I'm always to the next thing.

This is a win, but I'm focusing on the next thing there and

I'm not learning to be present.

That's one thing my daughter helped me learn to be present.

Yes.

Yeah.

She helped me learn to be present.

Cause there's always another thing to go after, or a,

milestone or a goal to achieve

Yes.

And whatnot.

But if you keep running

- Henry Kellem: You gonna be chasing your whole life.

…forever

- Henry Kellem: and then you're gonna get right in line.

And especially a place like Beverly Hills, like, it's pretty

easy to look around and find people who are higher up the mountain than you and

places that you could say to yourself, "Well, I'm never gonna be there."

Yeah.

Right.

And, and, comparis what is it?

Comparison is

- Henry Kellem: "Comparison is the thief of joy."

Joy or something like that, right?

Yes.

Yeah.

That's right.

Yeah.

how do you work on that?

This sort of, like, two goals in parallel.

I wanna be present, but I still have more to do, but I don't wanna burn myself out.

Yeah.

I had to realize we all got our own race to run.

we all got our own race to run.

I can't… one thing my mom used to tell me, look to your left,

you look to the right, you'll find somebody doing worse than you.

So I just try not to compare myself to people.

It was hard when I first got there because, you know, I want all of these

different things and the material things, but I just realized I had to get

comfortable in my skin and start telling my story and walk my path and everything.

Mm-hmm.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So probably the best decision you made

going up to Beverly Hills.

Raise your standards, right?

Raise my standards.

Yes.

Yes.

And I was putting my daughter in the environment to be

exposed to different things.

one of the biggest things I did was I found Kabbalah.

Mm-hmm.

it was very good for me at the time where I was going

through and the community and the wisdom it's been life-changing.

So

- Mike Lindstrom: What's your favorite part about being a father?

My favorite part about being a father, I love to see my daughter smile.

She can almost get anything when she get that little smile.

I just love seeing her happy and, making her happy.

It's my big thing.

What's the biggest, biggest challenge in being a father?

Biggest challenge being a father is not to do everything for

her, to let her learn on her own.

And, you know, then she's a girl.

I wanna

Yeah.

shelter her from everything out there, but just trying to give her

that independence and not handicap her.

It's tough, man.

It's tough.

It's hard.

He's got two boys as well.

I have two boys.

I don't have, I don't have a daughter, so I don't know.

Yeah.

Girls is different.

It change you.

And I said God knew what I needed because I needed love at that time.

And my daughter gave me a type of love that I had never got before.

And it was great because I knew with them boys, knuckleheads, I gotta be on them.

They got a totally different, reality than my daughter got.

She's gonna be 30.

She's always gonna be daddy's daughter.

But, these guys, they got a totally di I said, now I'm ready to raise men.

I don't think I was ready to raise men at that time because I was, even

though I was a grown adult, I still was, like, not grown up on the inside.

I was still very immature.

I didn't know how to handle my feelings, handle my emotions.

Now I know more about emotional regulation.

things like that I can pass on to the next generation because I was just a mess.

it'd be tough.

I was just a mess.

Daughters would be tough for me.

when I first found out Monica was having a boy when we got

the test and I'm like, "Yes!"

yeah.

And then Colt was two years later and was a boy.

I'm like, "Yes!"

Yeah.

I think mentally, I just, maybe it's a limiting belief that

I have or had that I just didn't… I was an only child for five years

before my sisters came into my life, so I just didn't have that same.

So I watch you from afar and how you father a, a daughter

with, the mom's in the picture.

I get that.

Yeah.

But I'm saying you're doing a lot of the raising.

Yeah.

And I see that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's pow it's powerful, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And now, she's young.

I can control everything.

But when she gets a teenager and everything, then it's like, I got a girl.

Yeah.

It's a totally different thing.

We'll have to have them back in a few years.

Yeah, yeah.

They get them back in a few ears.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When she turns 13

- Henry Kellem: Yeah.

…we'll have you on the couch.

Yeah.

We'll see what your, what your opinions are there.

There we go.

There we go.

No, that's good.

Yeah.

So what are some of the big things that you're

looking forward to then in terms of, the next chapter of your life?

You've been through a lot, man.

You've done the speaking, you've done your, social media, you're

doing a lot of influencing there.

What's the next big thing for you that you're working on?

as far as that, I'm working on a book, couldn't working on

telling my story, "Dirt Road to Rodeo", creating a framework around that.

But, Mike, I just reached a point in life where I'm just, like, happy just to be.

I've been running my whole life.

You gotta understand, I started working at nine years old, picking

blueberries in the blueberry field to help my mother pay for the bills.

So we had to be 12 years old to even pick blueberries.

She used to sneak me in the field.

So it's like my whole life, I just been running and running,

and now I just wanna relax.

I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses no more.

I don't have nothing to prove.

people look at you and feel like you supposed to have a

certain amount, but it's always something more something to get.

Yeah.

Especially in this consumerist economy that we live in.

You need this, you need that.

So I'm just pushing back on all of it.

No, I don't.

I don't need anything else to feel whole.

I did that.

I chased name brands.

I chased jewelry.

I chased cars.

Everything to make me feel whole inside.

And none of it worked.

Yeah.

None of it worked.

Well, I said entrepreneur as a moniker of your title, that's true.

So you - a little bit about clothing, you've got that.

And rapping

- Henry Kellem: This is actually my brand.

Yep.

HK.

High Key Lifestyle right here, whatever.

This is a part of it.

Yeah.

But also the rapping.

You gotta talk about music, man.

The music.

I, well

It's out there.

It's out there.

[laughing] Let's not, let's not sweep it under the carpet.

Okay.

So I have a motivational album.

Okay.

And it's more to inspire and to motivate.

I don't consider it rapping.

It's almost like I'm doing motivational speaking on beats.

But I am working on my spoken word album, and I'm trying to figure out

how I'm gonna do that right there.

but when you say rap, a lot of people look at the music that's out here

now and they equate it to that.

It's, it's not that.

It's something more uplifting, something to inspire you, something

to actually speak to your soul.

And where can, where can everybody find it?

Can you pick it up on Spotify?

Yeah, you can get it on Spotify, Apple Music everywhere.

Yes.

The Gangsta Mentality is what its called.

Gangsta Mentality?

Gangsta Mentality.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you, you're, you're a spiritual gangster.

We've had Ian Lopatin sit on this couch.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're friends with Ian.

Yes.

Yes.

So how, how does that speak to you when you

think about spiritual gangster?

I, I watched

I wish I could take the, I wish I had the name.

I love Ian, but I'm like, "How did you get spiritual gangster? [everyone laughing]

Like, Bruh, how did you do that?" I look at myself as a spiritual gangster.

Right.

And, you know, that's why it worked so well and

everything was aligned when I did meet him, but he has a great name.

So, and for me, gangster just means, walking to the beat of your own drum.

Like, we live in a world that always try to get us to conform.

That's right.

And just, but we are all individuals.

So it takes a strong person to stand up and be like, "I'ma be individual.

I'm gonna do, what works for me and not what's popular." So that's, that part

of gangster has nothing to do, like, you know, even Ian spoke with me, he

said a lot of people told him the word gangster wasn't gonna work because of

the connotation that was behind it.

But we flipped that connotation.

Like we give it the meaning that we want it to have.

So gangster mean taking care of your kids.

Gangster mean getting up in the morning and going for that

run that you know you need to.

Gangster mean putting down that fork and not having that dessert.

Gangster is doing the things that you need to do.

And that's why you put spiritual in front of it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Who are some of the big influences in terms of what you've

read, other than like the Bible?

You've made biblical references, but motivational books or influences.

you know, I love The Alchemists.

Okay.

And that's what I feel like the Dirt Road to Rodeo is all about.

It's about alchemy.

It's about, because he had that personal journey.

Remember he was going to find a treasure, right?

He, so he left his house to go find a treasure all the

way in Egypt at the pyramid.

So, but on the way, he ran into a lot of the journey actually

became where he picked up wisdom.

He learned stuff about himself that he didn't know.

And then what happened?

He got all the way there, beat by some refugees, and then heard them over

talking about a treasure that was buried in Spain and the place he just left.

He goes back there and finds the treasure.

But the point of the story was, it's not about finding the treasure at the end.

It's about the journey.

It's about the process.

It's about who we become along the way.

It's about what we find out about ourself.

That's what the true thing is.

So the Dirt Road to Rodeo, that's what it's about.

It's symbolic of the journey.

You come in one way.

The dirt road can represent poverty, divorce, you know, limiting beliefs.

And then Rodeo represents the other side.

Yeah.

So it's n nothing to do with, Rodeo Drive or materialistic stuff.

Sometimes people look and they say, That's not what it was." What happened

is when I went to Beverly Hills, I was riding in the car one day, right?

And I was riding down Rodeo Drive.

And I looked around and I was like, "From the Dirt Road to Rodeo."

And I just said that thought and then it just stuck with me.

I was like, "You know what? I was on the dirt road and now I'm actually on Rodeo

Drive." To me, that was so big because Rodeo and Beverly Hills represented

something that was so far, so far out of reach that we couldn't attain.

So it was like having that goal that gave me something to shoot towards.

So in the back of my mind, it was always like, I'ma get to Beverly Hills one day.

I don't know how I'm gonna get there, but I'm gonna get there.

The Alchemist, we hear that one a lot.

Yeah.

So that's Ian's book, The Way of a Spiritual Gangster,

he modeled it after The Alchemist.

Oh, wow.

Did you know that?

I, I didn't.

I didn't.

It's a story.

It's a fictional story of a character

Okay.

That goes on a journey.

Oh, wow.

So that's one of Ian's favorite books.

Okay.

So it's funny that you both have said that book

is a big influence on your life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what have you learned about yourself?

What have I learned about myself?

Yeah.

I learned that I am worthy of love.

At first, I didn't think that I could be love.

I didn't think because my father wasn't there.

And not only was he not there, he had other kids in the

same town that we lived in.

Mm.

And he acknowledged them.

So he ended up moving from North.

So I talked to him, later.

But he, he was 18 and 19 years old and he had four kids.

Two different women.

Two here, two with my mom.

My mom was the other woman.

So his family didn't accept my mom, that's why they didn't accept me and my brother.

we kids, so we don't know any of this.

We just know that's my grandmother.

Yeah.

That's my grandfather.

they don't really acknowledge us the way, you know, like that.

So, I learned that I am worthy of love just because I exist.

I don't have to do anything.

It was almost like even in my relationships,

everything was performative.

You tried to earn it all the time.

I had to earn it all the time.

That's what I've been doing.

I had to earn it.

I had to earn your love and everything.

So I just learned that I am worthy of love.

I learned that I'm good enough regardless, because I'm here.

And then I learned that I had to check my reactions.

Why am I reacting this way?

Why am I feeling this way?

And I had to really get in tune with that.

Yeah.

Is there one of those learnings that you find is harder

for you to pass on to other people?

a lot of people don't feel like they're worthy,

like they're good enough.

And so I've been trying to like, how can I help people with that?

So I say, "hey, it's a one in 400 million chances that you would even be born. You a

walking miracle. let's start from there." Let's shift our perspective of how we

look at ourself because we always look at ourself like we're not good enough and

we're too small and they can do it better.

I don't know what that human complex thing is that we have, but trying to teach

people that you're worthy just because.

You don't have to do anything to be worthy or good enough.

The fact that you exist That's part of your messaging.

That's part of the message.

That was a hard thing for me and trying to impart that to people.

So kind of look at yourself different.

Shift that perspective on how you look at yourself.

Yeah.

Because we always was talk… It's like in the Bible that said

we felt like, grasshoppers to the giants.

Like we always look at ourselves so much smaller than what we are.

So I'm just trying to get people to understand how powerful, that we are

as human beings and tap into that.

And when you unlock that in somebody else, that's a hell of a feeling.

That's a great feeling.

Right?

Yes To empower somebody else to do

And that's why you do what you do.

Yes.

Probably at least part of it.

That's, that's, that's, that's it.

Yeah.

That's it because that's what I needed.

And I remember saying, "you know what, maybe I need to give that to the

world. And maybe I went through all of these challenges and I survived."

I could have easily been killed.

my car got shot up one day, point blank range.

Like they, they shot the car up so much, the car was totaled and

you couldn't drive it no more.

And what happened was, being on the block, being young, acting like

we own a neighborhood and we don't own anything, this guy was on our

neighborhood and he was talking junk.

So I looked at my friend and we jumped him.

because you're not gonna come on our block talking like that, right?

This is from younger back in the day.

So the next day we ain't thinking nothing of it.

Me and him riding down the street, a car pull up right beside us.

Click-click Pow.

And 12 gauge shotgun shot right through the passenger side

through the driver's side.

I'm on the passenger side.

Me and him both duck.

And then he's driving a stick.

How he kept driving this car, it was the grace of God.

And they totaled the car, they shot the car up, not one

bullet, not one piece of glass.

Wow.

That's crazy.

And I said again, it's gotta be a reason that God spared me to be here.

And then I didn't see it because I'm just hurt.

And you know, when you a hurt kid, you put yourself in situations that you shouldn't

and you do all those type of things.

So then I didn't, but once I got out and I looked back, I was

like, wow, I could've been killed.

I could've done jail time.

There's so many things that coulda happened, but I'm still

here and it's gotta be a reason.

And I feel like I owe it to pay it forward.

Right.

Whether I want to or not because imposter syndrome comes in.

Yeah.

Who are you?

What do you think you're doing?

I don't know nobody famous.

I don't have no credentials or none of that type of stuff.

I'm just a person trying to help people like I wanted somebody to help me.

Yeah.

So the script is still being written in your life.

Still being written.

So what, what's the one thing that you haven't accomplished yet?

done, dude, this is a crazy story.

You talk about the dirt road, literally.

I know that story from all the family living in this little tiny…

I mean, you painted a picture.

You were, you were very brief on your history of it, but you've

told me the really in-depth part and it's quite moving.

But thinking about the next thing that you haven't accomplished yet, you've done

a lot of stuff, man, in your short life.

What's next?

Like the, the big thing that's kind of eluded you.

The big thing that has eluded me.

I really want to do, when I say this, like Henry Kellem's like

university, but not like a, I don't wanna say a big, D1 school, but

I wanna be able to teach people.

I wanna impart this wisdom and teach people and those people

can go out and teach more people.

It's like a drop in the bucket and it keeps going.

Yeah.

That's really what I wanna do.

Yeah.

I wanna, I wanna teach people to look within

themselves and get the power back.

We gave all our power away outside.

Yeah.

And it's time to get back to the basics.

are you writing a book right now then?

Yes.

Yes.

Put it all together.

Yes,

put it all together.

The Dirt Road to Rodeo's gonna be the

- Henry Kellem: Yeah.

…theme?

That's gonna be the theme.

It's your life story basically.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

When can we look forward to that?

Is that still in the

It's, it's in the works right now.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

We know how that goes.

We asked Ian about that a year ago.

It's oh, it's coming out like in a month.

[laughing] That's the only reason I didn't wanna say a month

and it ended up being six or seven.

Or a year.

it's in the works.

It's there.

It's there.

God, this is good stuff, man.

So special to have you on the podcast.

So tell us about anything you wanna promote.

Anything that you're doing out there that you wanna let audience know

how to follow you, social media?

I definitely want them to check out the music, the

Gangsta Mentality on Spotify.

Check out all my social media channels @HenryKellem,

Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok.

And just join the journey.

Like we looking for building a community for us all to come together to hold

each other accountable, to inspire each other, to give each other the

tools that we need to keep going.

That's great.

Fantastic.

Good.

Yeah.

Anything else?

I think it's good.

That's a great, great episode.

Henry, thanks for coming out, man.

Thank you.

Thank you

for having me.

You're going back to Rodeo today, huh?

Well, actually, I'm on my way to Houston and

then going back to Ro Rodeo.

More people to influence your world, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

it's been an honor to call you a friend all these 18 years.

Yes sIr.

Time flies.

I know, man.

I, that's why I said time is our b biggest commodity.

We can make more money because we can't make more time.

That's right.

That's right.

Thanks so much, man.

Thank you.

Thanks everybody for joining us on another episode of

What's Your Story with Mike and Scott.

I'm Scott Leese.

This is my good friend, Mike Lindstrom.

Thanks to our guest for joining us today.

Make sure you follow them on all the social platforms.

Make sure you follow us on all the social platforms as well.

And check out whatsyourstorypod.com for future episodes, past episodes,

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Big shout out to our friends at NectarFlow who host us here in studio,

and we will see you next time on What's Your Story with Mike and Scott.